I dare you...

As I began reading {I dare you}, I thought I had things pretty well figured out... However, I don't! I need to quit asking "WHY" and trust HIS choices for my life! I blogged about a year ago about finding a new church and the series that Pastor Fred has talked about seem to be following my life! I can't wait until child dedication on Mother's Day! I promise to raise the kids to the best of my ability in a Christian home! This has become more and more important to me as I get older AND as the kids get older. They might not understand now, but one day I pray that hits them... Just like it has hit me!

Bio Freeze

I've had bio freeze in my life for years... But now it's becoming my BFF! I finally am starting to enjoy running but my shins are not! Today I'm was doomed for the start and only could run .5! I'm so upset!! My legs are in pain... And not sore muscle, me being a wienie kind of pain!

Neighbors

It's Maysie's 13th birthday and was really upset that the kids were at Justin's! She brought them (or me 😄) a surprise!

Green Thumb...

I am NOT!! My flowers seem to be dying already!! I thought ferns were supposed to be easy?!?!

Living

Are you living with one handful or two handfuls...

More to come later!

Lots of changes coming our way!!

I felt like Pastor Fred's message today slapped me in the face!!

My family

Nothing in this entire world makes me happier than my family! Tom asked a few weeks ago if he could take Drew to FDIC downtown and they had fun! He made out like a bandit: 3 shirts that he has worn all evening! Yes, all 3 of them! He also got some toys and his first trip to Hooters! Talk about a red faced little boy!
After the race this morning an a girls lunch at Houlihans with Heidi and Kenzie, Haley and I went to the nail salon and to Old navy! She asked for one tank (purple zebra sequin) and a crop sweater! It was too cute so I let her buy it!

We ended our evening with pizza and a movie at my dad's and had a great time!

I asked the kids on the way home if they had fun and Haley replied, "I don't know what to say but in my mind I'm screaming thank you!"

Those two kids mean everything to me!! What a great day! It's the little things!!

5K

I tried to cancel late last night on my sister in law! Then I knew I'd be so mad at myself if I didn't go finish the Susan G. Komen! So I picked her up this morning and we did it! I'm so glad we did this! I can't wait to keep improving my time! I'm ready to get back where I was one year ago!! Way to go Heidi! So proud of us!!

Today...

Here's my confession tonight...
Tom and I ran just over 1.5 miles tonight! Go us!! Wish I could run faster but oh well...
We got home and I had no desire to cook dinner...
We decided to walk to the Eagles for dinner and have a cocktail... Or 2! Bad part... We had his mom drive us home! Haha! I tried to justify that by saying she needed to see our new landscaping...

Kids sleeping

I love when the kids climb in my bed to snuggle! It seems like I never just get one of them at a time: it's either all or none! Here is what I decided: one wakes up sometime in the middle of the night and sneaks into the others room... If that child is in their bed then child one goes back to their room and goes to sleep. If child two is not in bed then child one makes their way to mine. Then sometime (together) they decide their plan of action to wake mommy up! It's okay though... I love them and it doesn't happen very often!

Job...

So... I started my new job at HCCC! I will {LOVE} it! First let me say: I haven't worked from 8-5 since Drew was 6 weeks old... And that only last until he was 8 weeks old! Yesterday was rough... Paperwork, talking, and touring the facility! Today... Two 4 hour meetings! It was good though! Tomorrow is two more 4 hour meetings! I'm ready to get in my 12 hour shifts so I can start my new normal routine! Anyway... I'm not sure how my readers learn best... But I learn best by DOING! I don't a lot of info by sitting in lectures... Probably because I'm doodling! No, I don't have any questions right now, but give me 2 weeks when I'm actually DOING my job and I'm sure I'll have a million! I am thankful for group activities and moving about and making diagrams!! Here's to my future endeavors...


I love my kids!!

Today's Confession

I am seriously Anti-Goats, but how could you not like these twin!! They are adorable! I wish my kids could be on the farm everyday!!

Today's confession

I'm really sore!! I won't lie... My back is in pain!! Oh well... First day of new job!

Today's confession

I drank too much last night! Today... I am paying for it!! That doesn't happen very often at all, and I remember why!! Ugh!!

Today...

Today's confession...

I love shoes... All kids of shoes!
My closet goes from one extreme to the other!
Honestly... I love wearing heels just as much as I love wearing boots!
I do have an obsession with boots though!!

Crosses

I love them!! They are all over my house ... And tattooed on my thigh! I love all kinds of crosses... Especially ones that have turquoise on them!

My life...

Spring Break 2012... So many more pictures to come!!

Picking my Brain...

1. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?

Honestly... I like to talk but it's all in fun and games! When it comes to life... I hope I've crossed more off my bucket list then I've talked about!

2. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Geez... Just one... Violence in all forms!

3. What is the one thing you'd most like to change about yourself?

I'm my worst critic in everything! I need to give myself more credit. I also wish I was a better listener! I wish I could open up more! I hold grudges and shouldn't!

4. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Both... I'm settling because it is what's best for the kids! Everyone knows I want to be on the road but the timing isn't right. I'm thankful I get to be a reserve! I am so excited for my next chapter!

5.
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Yes!

6. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

No... It doesn't matter now! I remember the day I quit my job to become a stay at home momma to 2 amazing kids! That was the day I lost ME! That was the day I felt like I lost my independence and had to depend on someone else! Don't get me wrong... I love my kids and I'm so happy I got to stay at home for a few years... Just so hard!

7. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

Camping at horsemans's campground in Brown County! Creek stomping, racing Eric, the shower house, having chicken pox... My memories there are amazing!! Everyone went... Our entire family! And extended family!

8. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

NOW... Right Now!

9. What are your religious beliefs?

I believe! I have Faith! After the past weekend my family just had... I could go on and on! For me... Finding God at a young age was amazing! I got baptized at 10 but I'm not sure I truly understood that commitment! I've gone to church on and off my entire life but while at NEO is when my commitment to Christ hit a different level! I moved home and married someone who wasn't "in" to church and I let go. Over the past 1 1/2 years... I have found a new church! I have never been happier! I have found a man that loves to attend church with me and who likes to talk about service!

10. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Unless I'm 6 feet under... I'm alive! Truly Living is being present! Being in the moment! Enjoying the small things!

11. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Ugh... This is so hard! I would say things... I would stand stronger... I would let certain people know who I really feel!

12. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love my kids! I tell them (numerous times) daily! No words will ever be enough to tell them what they mean to me!

13. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Ouch... This is hard!! I always make decisions for my kids and myself but I hate hurting certain people's (the ones who mean the most to me) feelings. Until 2 years ago... I let others make decisions for me! I guess it all depends on the situation and I NEED to learn to stand strong(er)!

14. What is your greatest accomplishment?

Learning to live for my kids and myself... And not depend on anyone else! It's okay to ask for help... However I let my pride get in the way... Which isn't good! My kids will always be my best accomplishment!

15. What drives you every day?

My kids! Giving my all for them!

16. Who do you admire?

I admire many individuals for different reasons, but my siblings are amazing!

17. What traits in others are you attracted to?

Smiles! Optimism! Honestly! Hard work!

18. You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about?

Shattering the Silence! Angela Cain has been a huge inspiration on domestic violence and I've seen her speak many times. I actually did my senior speech on this, but as a police officer and through past work experiences... I've gained so much more knowledge.

Today's Confession...

So here is my confession:

Most people have a junk drawer {which we also have} but how about a closet that you are embarrassed for anyone to look in.

YIKES!! IT"S AWFUL!!

Let me be really honest:

We have a spare room that I'm embarrassed for anyone to look in!

This room started as a guest room/ play room! Now it is a gym, photography studio, computer room, office, catch all! The kids did clean out a few toys, but it is ridiculous!

Another confession for today...

I'm blogging so I don't have to clean! I also went to the gym, stopped by the police department, and offered to help at the farm so that I don't have to clean!

Damn... I guess I'll start cleaning!!

Instagram

I'm in love with this app! Love my kids!!

Enough Candy...

This is our junk food bowl.
It was empty {minus peanut butter crackers and a granola bar} on Saturday.

As I'm emptying baskets and bags... I'm throwing candy away.

Was it just Easter or Halloween?

We will never eat all of this candy! We never do!

After every holiday {which I never buy candy for the kids because everyone else does} I end up throwing about half the bowl away!

**I love running**

Remember from early:

I have to keep telling myself **I love running**

I thought new shoes would help! I couldn't go with boring white ones... and of course they weren't too cheap either, but I LOVE THEM!

So... if I love my shoes... maybe... just maybe...

I will **love running too!**

Sounds good doesn't it?!?! wink, wink

Honesty

So here is my confession today:

I haven't worked in nearly 2 weeks! Why do I have a pile of laundry this big? Truth is... they are all clean clothes that have been laying there for 4-5 days! Now, that I've starting sorting into piles (Haley, Drew, Tom, Me, Towels, Kitchen, Sheets)... I have to add a pile titled "MUST IRON!"

My next confession:

I will probably throw them all into the dryer again and pray the wrinkles come out!!

Nothing like 4 months...

I promised to get better about blogging... and I haven't! So sorry!! The past few months have flown by! How can it be April 2012 already!?!

1st: Happy birthday to my favorite guy in this entire world!

2nd: Tom and I have been dating 9 months today!

3rd: I'm starting a new chapter on April 16th!

4th: Update on my Life as a Mom

Here goes:

1. How can I have a 6 and 8 year old? It seems like yesterday that I was telling Justin we were going to have a baby. I have so many vivid memories about being pregnant, delivering, and about the kids growing up. {yes, I know they are still growing!} I remember the crazy things... normal people don't think about! I remember things that were said... haha and yes I just laughed out loud. Anyway, both kids had friends over to our house this year. It was fun! Today, I ate lunch at school for the first time EVER with both kids. Does that make me a bad mom... I've never eaten at school with them! Oh well... hopefully there will be lots more of that in the future.

2. From not wanting to date... to meeting Tom... to being engaged... and then calling it off! I love him and the past 9 months have been awesome for the most part. I have never been sure about getting married again, and I thought I was ready... however... I completely lost it over the 3 weeks or so that Tom and I were engaged. How can a ring can so much between 2 people? We were so happy and then everything started going down hill. It was awful!! I panicked and gave the ring back. Things couldn't be better once again. I upset many people, but one thing I've learned is that I can't please everyone. I need to be happy for the kids, for me, and for our little family! AND that's what we are... HAPPY! I'm so proud of him too: following his dream of being a MEDIC! This year will be a long one, but it will be worth it seeing him graduate in March 2013!

3. Spring break was amazing! More about that in a minute... my new chapter! I was fired after being on vacation for 9 days. My boss decided she would fire a single mom for needing stability and security in her life... blah, blah, blah! I was offered a new job while on Spring Break! I will begin working at Hamilton County Community Corrections next Monday. I'll be on days for 3 weeks while training, but then I'm switching to 12 hour shifts on nights. It is the same schedule that Justin and I use with the kids, so I'll work when they are with him. I so excited and nervous! Better pay, benefits, closer to home, no daycare for Haley and Drew... LOTS of PROS!

4. My house is coming together and it is cute and homey! I love it! My neighbors rock, love being across the road from a park, perfect for running and playing... Tom dug me a new flower bed around the front patio... too bad it is 40 degrees today! I would love to have some flowers now!! I would love to knock out a wall too. My honey-do list keeps growing and growing!! The kids love Tom and we are a happy family! Drew is playing baseball! Haley is in mini 4-H! She can't wait to start dance again! He will play every sport possible! I love those two kids more than words can describe!

What else...

My brother got MARRIED and I gained an amazing sister in law and niece! Check out my photo blog (jessicamusselmanphotos.blogspot.com) and you will see some pictures. I couldn't be happier for them! Also... Cody passed his fire test!! Yes, he will be a fireman!!

Eric got baptized the Saturday night before Easter! What an awesome commitment!! Congrats bub!!

Easter was fun! Our church service was great and made me think about many things! I'll never get used to sharing the kids on holidays but we are making it work. Cherie and Dad always spoil the grandkids... AND KIDS! Yummy chicken and noodles too... my favorite!!

Orange Lake Resort... just outside of Orlando! AWESOME!! My mom got a deal on a time share and we all went. Tim & Susan (Adam's parents), Adam, Ashley, & Ty, Tom, the kids, & me... FUN TIMES! Drew golfed his first "real" course and also got to pick out birthday presents from the Lego store in Downtown Disney/ Pleasure Island.

**I love to run**I love to run**I love to run** - I'm going to keep telling myself that even though I don't love it yet... I'm trying!

I guess that is an update for now. I'm going to try to blog more... and be more interesting! What should I blog about... Mmmm...

I love my kids!