LIFE IS SHORT...

or not really...

It's hard to say life is short when you are 99 years old.

Dad called me yesterday afternoon and told me that they had started grandma on Morphine to keep her comfortable. I knew the end was near... but not that close. I was ok... because I was with a sick kiddo and knew I couldn't go over there yet to see her. I met up with Justin to give him Haley (which was hard enough knowing she was so sick) and headed to the farm. I was still ok... until I walked into the shop! My mind started racing and the last time someone was on Morphine... he took his last breath while I was holding his hand. Remember... my grandpa just passed away on Father's Day of this year. I looked at my dad and said, "I can't do this! I can't go inside, because Grandpa died on me!"

Well... dad went inside with me... and there she was... lying in her hospital bed in the living room where grandpa's chair used to be... struggling to get enough O2. (Her stats were still low even though she is on an NC...)

 

I'm not ready to let the glue of the Musselman Family go...

 but how selfish is that?!?

 

Grandma has continued to decline in health since Grandpa died. She misses him terribly! I'm convinced when the time comes for her to leave the Earth... it will be because of a broken heart! She just wants to be with the love of her life! I mean... they were married for 77-78 years! I'm also convinced that Grandpa will be waiting at Heaven's door with his arms wide open... waiting for her!

 

I understand people can be on Morphine for awhile to keep them comfortable. I know it doesn't mean she will die today... but it still hurts. I felt like I said good-bye last night. I'm not ready!!

 

I am so incredibly lucky... and blessed with the memories I have of Grandma... of the memories I have of my kids with Grandma!

 

I'm not ready... but she is...

she is ready to dance! She is ready to be a ROCKETTE in Heaven. She is ready to be with Grandpa!

 

Until that day comes... I'll enjoy stopping by to see her!