Loving my Life as a Mom!

beware...

2011-12-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in awhile and the past couple days have completely stressed me out:

1. I can't imagine spending Christmas morning without the kids. Justin and I had a long chat the other night and I know he doesn't want to miss the kids faces either. I hate this for both of us. Even though we were separated, we still made it work last year and we did Christmas together. Now... that I have a house and we both have other people in our lives... it is so hard! I don't know what the answer is... Yep... I cried for hours over this...

2. I was let go of my job... that I love and have only been at for 6 months... due to downsizing. They did give me 6 weeks notice, but I haven't found anything yet. I've been applying and applying. I'm STRESSING out! I only have until December 31st here... then what... I'm a single mom with a mortgage, bills, and car payment! Yep... I cried over this too...

3. I'm working a crazy amount of jobs right now. Well... not so many jobs, but crazy hours. I've done so many photo shoots this fall that I had to take a break. Yes, I turned a few away because I want to keep it fun and not dread having to edit them. I also been doing security at Park 100. On Saturday I worked from 6:45 until 4:30 then thru the week I've been working from 4:30 until 10:30-12:30 (only on nights I don't have the kids). It is the most boring job ever! I've also been working security at some LHS bball game which is okay. This doesn't include the hours I'm trying to put in at the PD! Ugh...

4. I'm missing the kids first bball games due to work. Yep... I've cried... I hate this!!

Haley told me the other day while editing pictures... you know mom, we are only young once! Yep... I cried and shut my computer down instantly!!

I'm not sure why the last few days have just got to me... It is ridiculous!

On a funny note... Leo... our Elf on the Shelf arrived! First, he was in my coffee mug when the kids found him! They were estatic! He had wrapped himself around glittery sticks in a vase and tangled himself in my mini blinds. The kids LOVE this! However, I'm not sure who is loving it more... I have a million places I want to stick Leo. For tomorrow when I get the kids back, he his hanging upside down from an old window above my TV! I can't wait for them to see Leo. Tom has just as much fun thinking of places!

I can't believe it is December 1st. 2011 has flown by. 2010 & 2011 were rough for me... I'm REALLY hoping for a brand new, fun, fantastic start to 2012!! Which means I need to find a job ASAP!

I love my kids!!

2011-10-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

check out my new blog...
www.jessicamusselmanphotos.blogspot.com

It's not completely set up yet... but at least I've started! :)

Thank you!!

what a party...

2011-09-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

for my {30th} birthday! I had NO!! idea.These girls are awesome! We had a great time and they kept a secret!!

I wish my sister could have been there, but it's okay... I know she hated missing it. I know some other girls were busy that night too or lived too far away. We have to work on getting together!
Here's to my next 30 years...

Tom took me to The Melting Pot for dinner before my surprise party! It was SO YUMMY!

As much as I didn't want to turn 30... a few people made some statements that made me realize how blessed I am. I didn't care to hear... age is just a number! I honestly cried on Friday night just thinking about turning 30! But Taylor... thank you! She said something about me having a rough 2 years and she was so proud of where I am in my life right now and that she looked "up" to me. [didn't quote that right!] I owe my family and friends a huge thank you for coming up to the shop and keeping this party a secret. We had a great time and I appreciate everything!

I am so lucky and blessed! I have the best family and friends and 2 AMAZING kids!

Thank you again!!

Pictures...

2011-09-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

Ive been taking so many pictures... I've got about 12 or so shoots scheduled for October... WooHoo! Check out my photo blog to see some! I also am doing Cody and Heidi's wedding in February. That is pretty exciting!!

Anyway, Heidi snapped a few shots of Tom and me one evening, then I took a few of Haley. Drew was NOT feeling well... I think he may of had food poisoning! Dang Little Ceasar's Hot and Ready. Honestly, I don't know because Haley and I didn't get sick... or he may have faked so I didn't take his picture.

Thank goodness for wireless internet!! I'm sitting in a training right now and this is my 5th one in 4 days!

Tomorrow is the day... BOOO!!

I love my kids!

It's mine...

2011-08-31T07:25:00.000-07:00

I own a home again! I am so excited {and completely terrified} at the same time!! Most boxes are unpacked, but I still have a few that are loaded with "stuff." It's all the stuff that I MUST keep but have no idea what to do with. I will post pictures as soon as we have it looking home-y with personal pictures and decor. The kids rooms are finished and tonight will be the first night they see them!! I owe a huge thank you to 3 friends for coming over to paint Saturday night and then my siblings, Heidi, Mom, Matt, and Adam for helping me move. Tom has been great putting things together... especially Haley's bed that too 5 1/2 hours. YIKES... it had 32 pages of instructions. I'm so excited for the kiddos to see their spaces!!

Eric and Ali are engaged!! He asked her about a week ago, but I wasn't allowed to say until her family in OK found out! I'm so excited to be gaining 2 sis-in-laws!! WooHoo!! Cody and Heidi set a date: 2.19.12 (Their favorite verse from Hosea 2:19) Eric and Ali have not yet, but hopefully soon!!

Boo... on job searching again! Long story which I can't talk about yet, but I just can't chance anything being a single mom with a mortgage!!

I really don't have anything else to chat about now... sorry Heidi!!

I love my kids!!

Photos...

2011-08-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

Tom & I setting up for Cody & Heidi's engagement!
First Day of Kindergarten

Right after she said "YES"

Loving Patoka Lake

My whole world

The girls

Drew fished the whole trip

Pirate Night

A lot of cards were played

I LOVE my siblings

Pretty much sums up our week

First Day of 2nd Grade

Water babies!

Haley & Kenzie loved tubing

Whole group on Pirate Night... thank you DAD!!

Love Her

Toga Night

Need to think...

2011-08-18T06:57:00.001-07:00

of new blog titles. Crazy gets a little boring! But that is how my life is... CRAZY!
The kids started school this week. Today is day 4... only 176 more to go until summer vacation 2012! Haley looped from last year, so she has Mrs. Lockwood again {whom we love!} and the same classmates. She seems to love it so far! Day 1: She HATED the YMCA afterschool program. I've always picked them up, but with a full time job and time changes... it was impossible. Day 3: Best thing ever she says!! Drew started kindergarten and I didn't realize it would hit me so hard. Holy cow I was a MESS {understatemen}t on Sunday. He was so excited Monday morning. Day 4: cried when I dropped him off. I had to text Stacy to check on him because I felt like the worst mom ever sending him in. [He was fine!]

Cody & Heidi are engaged!! So happy for them!! No date has been set yet, but I'll keep you posted.

2 weeks from Friday... I close on my new house! 2 weeks from Sunday... We move in! I'm hoping and praying everything goes the way it is supposed too.

Tom and I are great! Having fun... we laugh a lot! The kids really get along great with him. haha... I'm pretty sure we started dating right after my last post, so he is good enough to meet my kids and I guess I will except the fact that I'm a "puma!"

Work is getting insane. Fingers crossed about a few things, but that will come out later.

Vacation [houseboat] was amazing!! We all had the best time. I need to have a blog of photo updates... maybe next time! I can't thank my dad for our great trip! Next vacation: spring break @ Orange Lake Resort in Orlando.

I guess that is it for now... I love my kids!!

"THE" house...

2011-07-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

fell through. Maybe I should say that I walked away. The inspection revealed some structural problems and the seller was not will to fix them. I had already agreed to more than I should have, so I moved on. My MIL, showed me 4 houses the other night and I fell in love with the last one we looked at. It is in Lapel, too. I have my own "wing" and we [the kids & me] will have an extra room: guest, computer, toys, workout equipment... oh the possiblities! "Everything happens for a reason" has never been more true! Fingers crossed that this inspection goes well!!

GG & Fred's Wedding...

2011-07-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

My siblings are my best friends and it's not very often that we are all dressed up!
I LOVE my girls!

My family means the world to me!

These two "little" people are my entire world!

Congrats Grandma "GG" and Fred! We wish you the best! Thank you for letting us be part of your special day!

It's July...

2011-07-08T06:59:00.001-07:00

and I'm not sure I blogged once in June! Where is the summer going?

Last year at this time:
I stayed at home with the kids
We went to the pool almost everyday
I had the best tan of my life
I was married
I could help dad on the farm whenever I wanted
I had lost myself
I didn't know how to stand up for my beliefs
I wasn't being the best mom I could
I was dependant on Justin

Today:
I miss being with my kids all the time
I am a little "whiter" than I wish I was
I am now officially divorced
I don't get out to the farm to work as much
I have a "big girl" job
I can support myself and the kids
I am a much better mom because I actually get some free time
I just bought a house {hopefully}
I know exactly who I am & what I want

When I turned 29... I had no idea what the next year had in store for me. All I knew was that the road to the "DIRTY 30" was not one I was ready to take. I had set high goals for myself {even before Justin and I separated} and I was going to do everything in my power to exceed them. WOW... If I had only known... I'm so happy with life. I'm finally doing things for the kids and me. That is what I've learned... I can make it on my own. I know some of you are thinking that "you live with your mom" and yes I do, but 6 months isn't too long for me to get on my feet. You have to understand that I've been a stay at home mom for 5 years and I was starting from the ground up! Trust me... I hated moving into my mom's house, but I am SO incredibly thankful for everything she {and my entire family} has done for us.

SO... this road... this path... this journey... that I do not want to be on... is getting closer. I hate the thought of checking the next box. No longer {well I can for 2 more months} can I mark 20-29... AWWW! 30 is just a number and I hate it! I'm so happy with life right now; it's just that facct that my 20s will soon be gone. But... I have 5 jobs that I LOVE: Chaucie's Place, Lapel Police Dept., taking pictures, working on the farm, & BY FAR THE BEST: being a momma to the most amazing kids ever!

The HOUSE: is small, but on a huge lot. I'm an outside person and couldn't be happier. I have big plans for the yard. Back up a few months: one day while on duty I saw a house for sale by owner. I called and looked at it with my dad. He liked it. I didn't do anything about it. Got in an agruement with my momma and decided it was time to move out... haha... love you!! Anyway, looked at it again, agreed on a price verbally, and thanks to my [ex] mother-in-law that I still love, the process got started. I appreciate all her help with my 1000 questions. Fast forward to this past Wednesday... the inspection did not go great. 2 main beams, 18 floor joist, 80 ft of sill(?) all have to be replace. He also found fungus and beetles in the crawl space. I was crushed and decided it was a deal breaker. A few tears and phone calls... I was walking away. THEN: got an estimate yesterday and it wasn't all that bad. I'm waiting on a phone call now from the seller to see if she is going to pay for it all. IF she will, then I'll still buy the house... IF not, then I'm done. Hurry up and call me Please!! To be continued...

Dating: I'm so not good at! I haven't dated in over 9 years. I'm a protective momma and no one is good enough to meet my kids. My standards are super high. I'm been called a cougar... which isn't true... I was informed I'm a puma... which isn't true either. I like hanging out with my friends and family too much! Blind dates... oh Heidi! I love doing things for myself and whenever I want!!

I talk about my {GIRLS} a lot! One of them is really sick with cancer! I love her and my kids adore her. Please keep Shana in your prayers! Chemo starts on Tuesday after being moved up a few weeks. I don't think it is my business to go into detail, but PLEASE PRAY!! Thank you!!

It almost my FAVORITE DAY of the SUMMER: cattle show day!! Hamilton County Jr. Nationals... just kidding but I'm so excited.

July 25th has always been so far away too and now it is right around the corner. That's right... our {WHOLE} family vacation that dad's been planning forever. We are going to Patoka and have 2 house boats. Theme nights are planned: Mardi Gras, Pirate, Hawaiian, & Toga... can't wait for these pictures. haha... should be lots of fun!!

I should probably get back to work!! Happy FRIDAY!

I love my kids!

This weekend...

2011-05-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

is jammed packed. I wanted to blog before it all starts getting crazy!

1. Drew has his first baseball game! His team colors are green and yellow... his favorite {John Deere}! Reminder... he is 5 and has 2 games a week plus a practice. That is crazy to me!

2. It would have been our 6th anniversary on Saturday. Anyway... no it's not final!

3. It's my dad's (and Phil's) birthday on Sunday! We are having a get together Saturday night at their house.

4. It's Mother's Day! I love being a mom more than anything! I have 2 amazing kids!! I love my mom! She will never know how thankful I am for her. "Thank you" just isn't enough for what she does for the kids, me, and our entire family! Lunch at mom's!

5. Church... LOVE our new series: FREE! It's amazing and a real eye-opener!! Join me sometime... Northeast Community Church @ 126th and Cumberland!

6. I'm forgetting something on Saturday?!?!

On a different note... school is out in 22 {ish} days! WOW! This year is flying by so fast! What am I going to do with the kids all summer. I've been so lucky to stay at home and just work part-time since Drew was born. Thank goodness for family! I'll have to look into the YMCA as well!

I also am so excited to head back to Oklahoma in 21 days!! My home away from home!! I'm hoping it is warmer this time!!

Dominican Republic in September? YES, PLEASE! {more details at a later time}

I want to wish all my mommy friends and my 2nd moms a very happy mother's day! It's the hardest job ever... but by far the most rewarding!!

I love my kids!

It's okay...

2011-04-27T13:39:00.001-07:00

if Momma is having a bad day!

I went to work super early this morning so I could get a few hours in before I went on a field trip with Haley. So yes, I'm exhausted... but that is nothing new! Tonight, Friday night, Saturday night... are not looking any better on catching up either...

I feel like every time I pick my kids up from school they start argueing or fighting or crying...

Some of that is normal for siblings... I understand, but good grief! Both of the kids are saying, "this is the worst day ever!" I'm not sure what the deal is?! I talk to them about there day and nothing out of the ordinary seems to being going on. Oh wait... I told them no!!

No we are not eating out every meal!! No you can't play on my phone right now!! No you can't buy a new toy!! No you don't act like that!! I don't think they hear NO enough from other people. I'm not a mean mommy, but my kids will know how to act and respect others. After being around other kids... I realize how lucky I am to have terrific mannered kids. Some people's kids should not go in public... I'm sorry, but teach your children how to act!

Okay... I vented! I love my kids!

So Busy...

2011-04-25T18:24:00.000-07:00

I will cherish this picture for ever!!
Why is there red dirt everywhere, Mommy?!

Do I get paid for this?!

They really do love each other and I love them more than words can express!

I haven't had time to blog in so long...

Life is crazy busy as always...

Spring Break was a blast.

I took the kids to Oklahoma to visit some incredible friends! Most of you know that OK is where my heart lies and this time was even harder to come home. I'm pretty sure most of my family knows I would move back in a heartbeat but I would never take the kids away from Justin or the family. Anyway, the weather was cool on most days, so shorts and flip flops shouldn't have been packed. Oh well... I always overpack! We did lots of things. First... my kids are amazing travelers in the car. We only stopped twice on the way there and our first leg ended in Miami! Thank you to Brandon and Mindy for letting us stay with you and for having a cook-out. It was great to see everyone! Next was a short stop in Tulsa to see Miss Jessi Faye. We took the kids to Incredible Pizza for the afternoon. Haley hit the jackpot on a slot machine and won first place with Jessi racing go-carts. Drew played skiball and putt-putt. He had a gallery watching him hit hole in one after hole in one! We then drove to Hinton where we stayed with the Burns' family. I met Roy and Melena 10 years ago thru their son Josh. We've stayed so close. They hadn't seen Haley since Justin and my wedding and had never met Drew. Can we stay spoiled?!?! They treat me like a daughter and spoiled the kids like their grandchildren. Melena took all week off work to hang out with us. Trips to the zoo, shopping, the Science Museum and so much more. Roy also bought the kids toys!! Drew loved seeing all the dozers and equipment at some of the job sites. I can't express how much I love this family. I'm heading back out there on Memorial weekend and then JW will be here for my grandma's wedding in June.

Grandma's wedding is another crazy story, but I'm happy for her. I have so much to blog about and can't even think right now...

Haley is tumbling with Kenzie Jayde and loves it! Drew is playing baseball for the first time. We also just signed him up for Kindergarten. I can't believe my kiddos are now 7 & 5... that just makes me closer to 30! Yep... less than 5 months away!! I'm still on track to be in the best shape of my life!! I'm proud of myself for sticking to this!!

Job Interview went great... should know something in the next couple of weeks!! Looked at a house... wasn't meant to be! I think I was set on the location more than the house. We are going to keep looking and by "WE"... I mean the kids and me! Just to clarify before I get a phone call!

What else... all this rain stinks!! A little would have been just fine, but I'm ready to help dad in the field some more!! Cody: "I wish every girl could drive a tractor like you!" He made me smile. I love being a farmer's daughter!

Just so everyone knows... As soon as I can... I'm going back to Musselman! I hate it for the kids, but I talked to them a lot about it. No part of me wants to keep Lowder. I've thought about hyphenating, leaving it alone, dropping it, making Musselman my middle name, etc... and I'm changing it! It's best for me!

Above are a few pictures from Oklahoma! Enjoy!

I love my kids!!

Karma...

2011-02-07T15:07:00.001-08:00

will bite you in the @ss! Haha! Can't wait to see what happens. I don't wish harm on anyone... but this may get good before it is over! I loved getting an unexpected phone call today from someone's husband! Good conversation!

Our Weekend...

2011-02-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

didn't end at the waterpark or birthday party...

"Musselman Farms" also played in the annual HSE FFA Donkey Basketball Game.

We tried to defend our title, but lost by one in the championship game.

We always have a blast and are very sore the next day!

I love my kids!

Our Weekend...

2011-02-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

was wonderful! Cody, Heidi, and I took the 3 kids to Big Splash in French Lick! It was a blast. I'm not sure who had more fun... I know Cody ended up with the most battle wounds!

Happy 6th Birthday, McKenzie!
Happy 7th Birthday, Haley! I love you!

Haley and Heidi on the "blue" slide!

Cody and Kenzie ready to take off!

Drew became a dare devil on this trip. He had so much fun!

Drew...

2011-01-26T05:06:00.001-08:00

Good D, Buddy!

Look at that form!

I love my guy! Mom took Haley shopping for her birthday last night, so Drew and I had date night! We had lots of fun... then thanks to Dad for taking us to Logan's for dinner!

Man Alive...

2011-01-16T13:33:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't change the past for anything! I have the 2 most amazing kids in the world! I don't have regrets... but I wonder what would have happened if I wouldn't have been at that place at that time. I HATE {everything happens for a reason} but I know it does. It is all about timing! I had no idea things would end up like this SO quickly. I'm sad... don't get me wrong, but I'm over the moon right now. I can't wait to shout it out!

The kids and I had a great weekend. LASIK went awesome! My post-op went great. I read 20/15 24 hrs. after having surgery. My eyes are really red from one part of the procedure, but the dr. assured me that it would be normal within 2 weeks. I can't wear make-up which I LOVE! It takes 10 minutes off me getting ready in the mornings. Saturday was busy. Post-op appt, Haley cheer clinic, Drew basketball (he hit 3 baskets), shop, dad's, Monkey Joes, home for a playdate with 2 new friends :), then the MVHS varsity game so Haley could cheer at halftime. We crashed that night. Today, we went to church... then left early. Haley has avoided all the sickness from Drew, Kagen, Emma, and Kenzie but today it hit her. Fever, Snotty, Coughing... ugg! Hello tylenol and nap time!! We chilled pretty much all day. It was nice! They get to go back with Justin at 5 so I better get going.

As much as I love LPD... I started applying for other depts only so I can have benefits and be full-time! I'll keep you posted. OUR house-hunt my start online tonight too!

I love my kids!

Life...

2011-01-13T13:53:00.000-08:00

is moving on. No, the divorce isn't final. Thanks to the lovely snow storm last Tuesday... our meeting was cancelled. Ugg... why!!! Anyway, we are really trying to settle out of court and are going to meet with the attorneys on Wednesday morning. PLEASE COMPROMISE!!

The kids are doing great. Haley just got straight As again. I'm amazed by her! Drew started "reading" at school. Sounding out letters and learning sight words. I was so impressed while quizzing him the other day. BBall is still going on for him. Haley starts tumbling with Miss Kenzie in a few weeks.

I started applying for poice departments. I love LPD, but not going to get full time there any time soon. I'm a tad obsessed with my remote start. It is the best invention! I'm getting LASIK in the morning. Holy cow... I stoked and a little nervous. The thought of no glasses or contacts... thrills me!!

so... confession: match.com is SO overwhelming! It was insane and impossible to keep up with. I deleted my profile within a week.

I do have news to share sometime, but can't right now... :) sorry... I know this will drive some of you insane... Taylor... I expect my phone to ring any minute!!

Boo to the Colts losing... yeah to last night! Cheers to girls night tonight!

I love my kids!!

On my...

2010-12-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

journey to 30...

I've been learning to do what I want, like, and need...

Today, after a 2 hour meeting at the police department, I've decided to do what I LOVE! I'm going back to LPD [as a reserve for now]. Criminal Justice {and Ag} are my passions. Yes, I'm involved with CJ at the prosecutor's office, but most of you know what I mean... I miss being on the road as an officer.

I gave that up to be a mom and wife.

I will ALWAYS put being a mom first and foremost in my life, but I want this.

I am going to go through pre-basic again and train for awhile. I've grown up a lot since becoming a mom and have 2 little people that depend on me. I talked to them about lots of training this time around. I want to do things the right way and not just "act" like a police officer. That is kind of how I feel about my first time around. Don't get me wrong... I was trained, but only to an extent. I need to get my Ps & Qs in check. I'm going to see what happens over the next 6 months... stay tuned as a take another journey...

I am staying at the Prosecutor's Office {I know Lynn needs me!}. For the most part... I really like working there and until I find something full-time with benefits... I'm staying put.

Many of you feel like I'm the busiest person you know... I have to stay that way... especially right now. I like when my plate is full!

I love my kids!

I shouldn't...

2010-12-15T18:05:00.001-08:00

blog when I'm pissed off...

I have EVERY right to be...

I can't believe you...

I can't believe him...

I emailed her...

I haven't heard back...

You talked to him...

She talked to me...

I turned to you...

You questioned me...

No, I'm not talking about the same person in all of those phrases.

Trust me... the fight is on!

Are we friends or aren't we...

Are you doing this for them or THEM?

On a different note, Drew has a program at school tomorrow that I knew nothing about... thank you! It's is a school night... you are at Castleton at build-a-bear past their bedtime...way to be!

I love my kids!!

Tonight...

2010-12-13T18:25:00.000-08:00

sucks! I started packing...
I had to wait until the kids went to bed because I couldn't do it with them watching...
I wish my BFFs lived closer or didn't have to work...
This might be easier with some company and a bottle of wine...
I had to take a break to clear my head...

I got Justin's prelim. "agreement" thing...
and I don't agree...

I love my kids!!

Thank you...

2010-12-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

so much for what you do! You know who you are. This is SO unexpected and appreciated. I can't thank you enough. I love you!

Drew and Haley are doing good. Haley continues to ace spelling test and learns so much everyday. Haley went to he doctor last week for a treatment. Her liver and kidney function blood work came back perfect and her levels for inflammation were elevated but still within normal range. With all that has been taking place this past month... I was expecting the worst. She is great! Drew started basketball. He has had a few practices and 1 game. YES... he scored and his momma couldn't have been prouder. Pictures will come soon. He continues to amaze me in school as well. He doesn't pick things up as easy as Haley did, but he is learning and memorizing everything! I couldn't be more proud of my kids.

Christmas is just around the corner!!!

Justin and I are still being civil and getting along. He met with his lawyer last week, so I will wait to hear from mine. I will probably call her tomorrow. As of now... I think it will be final around the beginning of Feb... {not on Haley's birthday!!}

I LOVE the NFR... it is the superbowl of rodeo! Long Live Cowboys!!

I love my kids!!

Well...

2010-11-29T16:30:00.000-08:00

___ were the last thing I expected and the first thing that wanted...

Are you wondering what fills in the blank? :)

I love my KIDS!!!

Because...

2010-11-18T13:39:00.000-08:00

of you two...

I will stay strong!

I will stand with my head held high!

I will keep faith!

I will fight... fair!

I promise to LOVE you always!! You two mean EVERYTHING to me!!

We have...

2010-11-15T04:41:00.000-08:00

stayed at home without Justin before, but last night was different. Everyone knows we are getting divorced and not staying together. Everyone knows that the kids and I are home alone now. What did I do? Got the gun out of the safe and moved it closer to me. I had to ask Justin where the key was and he acted like I was going to use it one him!! {NO... IT ISN'T LOADED FOR ALL OF YOU WHO THINK I'M CRAZY!} Don't forget I do know gun safety from my previous job experience. They kids don't know where it is either and there isn't a reason they should find it.

Anyway, Justin is meeting with an attorney today. I'm nervous, but I know he needs someone to answer his questions. I'm still praying things are peaceful after this. I have been completely honest with him on my side.

**Your phone call meant a lot to me! I don't know why I was surprised, but I was... thank you! I hope we will always be close!**

That may have been...

2010-11-13T11:55:00.001-08:00

the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life. I hated telling the kids... especially Haley... that we were not going to live together anymore. I never used the word divorce, but she did. She cried instantly and didn't stop for a long time. Leaving them for the weekend was awful too. I know it will get easier, but it sucked! Point Blank! Drew doesn't really understand... I don't think. I hope they will always know that this is NOT THEIR FAULT!

To get the process started... I got pay stubs faxed to the attorney. I'm not sure when we are actually going to file. Just one more thing for Justin and I to figure out together.

I went car shopping today... just looked! I hate car shopping especially when I have NO idea what I want. I want something I can afford on my own... I want my insurance to go down.

I can't wait to have the kids back tomorrow. Drew has his first basketball practice Thursday so Justin will get the kids again then for the night. uggg... this is going to suck!!!

With tears...

2010-11-12T13:19:00.001-08:00

in my eyes, I write this post. Justin and I are telling the kids tonight about our divorce. I'm physically sick. I hope we do everything right to insure Haley and Drew know that this is not their fault and that we both LOVE them unconditionally. For now... whomever has the kids will stay at the house. So far, things seem peaceful and I pray that they can continue that way. Time will heal all wounds.

I know some of you may never speak to me again... and I've accepted that at this moment.

Times will get worse before they get better. I don't know how I'm going to deal with sharing the kids, but they love their daddy very much.

On a different note... I'm not blonde anymore! This is a step in my new direction.

As one chapter comes to an end... I'll start a new chapter!!! I'm keeping faith... no matter how many tears will roll {pour} down my cheeks!!

Don't know...

2010-11-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

what to title this post. SO much going on in my head.

First... I'm glad halloween is over. I keep giving candy away to people hoping our bowl disappears soon. The kids had a great time, but don't care much for going door to door. I don't at all mind that, but I wish they would have told me before we were the furthest spot from Ashley and Adam's house. They have already decided what they want to dress up next year. We actually bought Drew's for 50% off {I love getting a good deal!}... man I hope he doesnt' change his mind! We haven't found what Haley wants to be yet. Maybe I'll get ambitious and make her costume... doubt it!

Second... Job is going good. Election was last week, so lots of changes are taking place amongst the office. People moving on, people over up, etc... me... I'm staying where I am! Oh well... it is a foot in the door. I am anxious to see what happens come the first of 2011. I actually have a meeting with the NEW prosecutor, Lee, tomorrow!

Third... Life sucks. I hate {strong... I know} you... that is all I'm saying. I'm hurt, pissed, crushed, angry, dissappointed, livid, broken... and you have NO idea how it feels. Enough said!

why...

2010-10-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

are certain people SO concerned with what I type?!?!

Today is Halloween: my ladybug and superman are ready to trick or treat!

I also had to call my eye dr. at home today and interuppt him while he was shearing sheep. He is so great to meet me at the office to tell me I have another eye infection and NO contacts for like a month or two!! Justin and I seriously need to check into lasik... maybe a 2 for 1 special would be great!!

Oklahoma bound in two weeks? I have to talk to Justin and see what Tyler finds out for sure!!

hello...

2010-10-27T15:02:00.000-07:00

it's me... just updating a bit...

I finally got a new computer... that works! It took a month and if Justin didn't get a discount at Dell and the kids didn't have to use a PC... I would have totally ordered a MAC, but it's okay. I don't recommend Dell at all! I love my computer... don't get me wrong... but their customer service/tech department SUCKS! I dread having to ever call in there again. Oh well...

Haley and Drew are beyond excited for Halloween. HSE/FHS Key clubs are putting on a halloween party tomorrow, so I'm going to take the kids. Emma, Kagen, and Kenzie may be joining us for some fun!! Friday: I'm taking the kiddos to the courthouses in Noblesville to see where I work and to trick or treat there. Saturday: We may go to ZooBoo with Cody, Heidi, and Kenzie. Sunday: it is halloween! Can you tell I want them to wear their costumes as much as possible? hehe!

I can't tell you the last time Drew went to the doctor. He is my healthy kid... however... he is going tomorrow. Most of you know that I am very open about talking about poop. He is going about 5 times a day. It is formed, but soft and mucus-y. Gross... I know! His butt is itching like crazy too. Wierd... I know!

Things with Justin are going... I asked him what he wanted and he couldn't answer me. I don't know why he has to talk to "her" everyday. She calls him... he calls her! It doesn't matter. I told him I wanted him to talk to me. Anyway.... I wish he knew that I hate it... wait... he does know! He also knows I check his phone. I've been very open about everything lately! I'm trying! He is still working dirt til late at night, so I feel like we haven't seen him much since Jerry got hurt. Jerry is still doing good.

What else? Not much!

Just letting you know...

2010-10-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

what has been going on:

My father-in-law is doing great! He is getting along well with the walker. That has caused his shoulder to hurt since that has been carrying his body weight. He went to the Dr. last Thursday and they wouldn't take the staples out yet. Should be this week! He is going crazy not being able to help Justin {and Drew:)} around the farm. Justin has been working his tail off at imi and at the farm. I'm so glad he is able to step up and help so much. The kids and I haven't seen him much. He stays in the field late and is heading to imi jobs early. Once he gets ground worked and equipment put away... things should slow down for him. Drew loves being able to hang with daddy at the farm so much.

Haley is an awesome goalie. She played the entire first half and didn't let any get by her. The 2nd half goalie gave up 3 which is okay. They have a tournement next Saturday at 11 {single elimination} and if they win... they play again at 1. She got all As on her first report card. So proud of her!!

Drew is signed up for basketball. He is excited. Justin is going to coach... which should be interesting! He is going good in school still.

My new job is going... it is getting better. I don't like to leave things undone at the end of the day when I leave... and I had to get over that the first day. I spend a lot of time looking for "missing" files! Dell delivered my new computer and it didn't work. I'm SO frustrated with them especially after the amount of money I just spent on it. We will see what happens. I took my kiddos and Emma to a school skating party. That was hilarious and brought back so many Durbin memories. Photo shoots are going great! I'm working at my in-laws today to start catching up since DELL messed up my plans this weekend. I would like to book more shoots in November, so send clients my way!! PLEASE!! I book another wedding in June!!

Only 11 months until my 30th! I've yet to do anything to reach my goal! I'm so ashamed to attempt that I'm failing right now! I keep saying, "when things slow down." I'm going to have to say screw that saying and just start [something]! Pressure me... someone! I will say that I've stuck to my pop thing and haven't had any tea!

Vacation... please come sooner! Spring break {Florida in March}, Houseboat {with family in July}, and Girls trip {somewhere warm for 30th in September}! I can't wait!!

That is all for now! Have a great week!!

Well... Well... Well...

2010-10-08T10:26:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to start on updating everyone on our lives right now. Craziness does not even touch it. So I'll just start with last weekend: I had photoshoots everyday until Tuesday... going good so far... I was at my dad's with a family friend shooting her 2 cute kiddos. I left my phone outside on the deck while inside taking pictures of Charley. I promised Jarret a sucker if he smiled with his new baby sister and went out to the van to get him one... grabbed my phone and noticed I had 7 missed calls {back to back}! Justin had everyone looking for me, so I called him back only to find out that his dad had fallen off the top of the semi trailer. {I knew it was bad when he said an ambulance was taking him to the hospital!} I told amanda I had to leave immediately, went to mom's to get my kids, dropped my kids off with Ashley, then heading to HRH. After test showed too much damage, Jerry was moved to Methodist. We were all there until 2ish am Wednesday morning when we found out he couldn't have surgery yet. He separated his shoulder and then chipped part of his scapula and shattered his hip/pelvis joint. Surgery was Friday morning to put pins and screws in... all went well. He got to come home on Monday!! In the meantime... my computer CRASHED on Friday! I was going to vomit because all the pictures were deleted off my camera and I just lost 8 photo shoots! Thank you to Steph (BFF from Bloomington)who brought dinner to the field on Sunday and took my tower to her boyfriend, Mike, who SAVED all my documents! I ordered a new computer, but have No Idea when I'll get it. Maybe I should also mention that Justin has been off work from imi since Tuesday night to finish all the harvest. YEAH!! he finished last night!! So many people pitched in and I can't begin to list names in fear of forgetting someone. You know who you are and we all THANK YOU!! Oh yeah... and I started a new job Monday to top off my crazy few days! I hate that I missed a shift at the Loft, but I honestly didn't know I was scheduled, but I did start at the Hamilton County Prosecutor's Office. I will be a great job, but it is overwhelming. I'll keep you posted. I think that is it for now.

Just catching up...

2010-09-24T06:34:00.001-07:00

How SUPER, DUPER CUTE are my kids?

We had family pictures taken with my mom last weekend and they turned out awesome. Thank you to Stacy, my sis-in-law, for taking them. She did great!! Check out my photography blog or FB if you haven't seen them yet.

Got the job! Woo Hoo... I will start at the Hamilton County Prosecutor's Office on Oct. 4th. I'm not sure what all I'll be doing, but I'm working in Superior Court 6. It is part-time, but a huge foot in the door. I still get to take the kids to school and pick them up... which is great. I also will get one day off per week, so I can still get my "me" time! I still am holding out for full time {the position has not been filled} at the one place I REALLY wanted, but I'm stoked about getting back into criminal justice. I'm so happy to open a new door.

51 weeks until the DIRTY THIRTY!! {not that I'm counting...}

That is scary! I'm doing great with the pop situation... drinking LOTS of water and haven't had any sweet tea. I have a ridiculous headache from having NO pop today. I will survive!! I haven't worked out like I wanted and I'm still not eating great.... I'm working {should push myself more} on it.

The kitchen WAS back together. The garbage disposal isn't working {Justin bought a new one last night} and the dishwasher was leaking {hopefully he'll get that part today}. I don't think he did though. Mind you... I loaded it with dirty dishes and scrapped everything into the disposal...uggg! I love the paint, counter tops, and new floor... HATE my cabinets now! I'm hoping the painter will be able to paint the cabinet doors to make them look better and not stick out like a sore thumb.

Photo sessions have been INSANE lately. I couldn't be happier. I am booked through October and starting November. I can't believe how this is working out! I built my new {dream} camera online a few nights ago... I'll need a 2nd mortgage!

one year...

2010-09-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

CHALLENGE...

started today!

First... thank you for all the birthday wishes! While at work for 4 1/2 hours: I had like 6 missed calls, 14 text messages, 3 bbms, and 48 FB messages. That is insane and so thoughtful of everyone. Thank you SO much to Cherie for taking the kids and me to Logan's Roadhouse for dinner and to Eric/Ali for meeting us. Anyway, I did turn 29! I say I NEVER want to have another birthday, but I know it will be here in 364 days. YIKES! That is where my 1 year challenge came in. It was really for myself, but a GREAT FRIEND that I've known since preschool is taking the challenge with me. I'm so happy for us! It isn't about losing weight, but feeling great... my best! I started my transformation with a 5K this morning! I'm so proud of Ashley (&Ty), Stacy and myself for completing it. 47 minutes was our time. By Christmas I want to have a 5K down to 30 minutes. I want to use my blog to keep myself accountable. Like I've always said... I'm going to post the good, bad, and ugly! I'm also allowing myself EITHER one pop or one sweet tea a day (until Christmas) and then I'll reevaluate. I'm being realistic this time... I will NOT quit!!

Soccer...

2010-09-15T05:04:00.000-07:00

Haley has had one game... it was cute! We sat in a downpour... which was not fun!

Drew during the game!
Haley is taking a goal kick!

Look at that form!

She is ready!

Another Interview...

2010-09-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

on Wednesday @ 3! It is a great job! Hope it pans out the way it is supposed to!! I like working at The Loft so far, but I'm not getting the hours I was supposed to. I'm staying put for now, but still looking!

Fingers crossed!!

One...

2010-09-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

One month from my birthday... I will have made my decision...

One year from my birthday... I will be in my best physical & emotional state!

I HAVE to be for the KIDS & MYSELF!!!

Work Day 1...

2010-09-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

went well. I was in the back room most of the time doing some training stuff. Life of a working mom: I received 2 phone calls from the school nurse saying that Haley was down there with a tummy ache. {if you know all that is going on with Haley... it isn't just a tummy ache! She is in pain from a Crohn's flair up} Ever since I got off work... I have been on the phone with the doctor, the remicade infusion nurse, the school nurse, and my MIL [making plans for Drew tomorrow]. Depending how tonight goes... we will end up in ER or she has an appt. at 3:30 tomorrow.

Harvest has officially begun! Justin just TEXT me and told me to bring DREW to the field to ride with him! Ugg.....

well...

2010-09-06T16:44:00.000-07:00

Just about the time I give in... you open your stupid mouth and the dumbest stuff comes out! Don't try to make me look like a fool {especially in front of your family}... it's you and it is in your blood! [My family gave up a long time ago!] I just hope I can raise the most respectful little boy into a wonderful man! I hope he makes the best husband one day and talks to his wife NOTHING like you talk to me. I'm not a piece of trash on the bottom of your shoe. **You're going to miss US we WE are gone!**

Job...

2010-08-31T04:58:00.001-07:00

That's right... I got one!

It isn't exactly what I wanted, but it will work perfect for my schedule with the kids and school.

I start at The Loft (@ Hamilton Towne Center) on Tuesday... one week from today!

The money isn't great, but I'll work everyday but Tuesdays (minus next week) from 9-2 or 10-3. I can still take the kiddos to school and pick them up. I also get 50 % off their clothes! Hopefully I'll make some money! I hated to tell Taylor and Kelly that I wouldn't be keeping Izaak and Maddie anymore. That was hard. I would love to fill in when I can, but I needed this for ME! I've been a stay @ home mom since Drew was born... I'm ready... I need some adult time. They all knew I was looking. Ty will be starting with Steph (where Haley went before I stayed home) next week. Adam knows Brian and I referred Ashley to Steph. I'm so sad and going to miss Ty! Hopefully I will still get to keep him on the Tuesdays that Adam has to work.

Don't get me wrong... I'm still waiting on ONE maybe TWO important phones calls from different employers. I've sent in so many applications and I even have a few inside sources at one place... so we will see.

It would be a long drive, full-time with benefits (in case I need them on my own!), and a GREAT company to work for. Plus... I know lots of people who work there!!

Front...

2010-08-27T05:17:00.001-07:00

I'm not going to lie... Life is hard (at home) right now!

I wish it wasn't... but it is!

Things have to change... but they aren't!

How long can I do this... I don't know!

Realizing that they may never be great again...

is an extremely hard feeling!

Where has the time gone...

2010-08-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

I now have a first grader and pre-schooler!

Haley is attending Fortville Elem. and has Mrs. Lockwood. I take her to school every morning and then (for now) rides the bus home in the afternoon.

Drew is going to (New Life Christian Fellowship) Faithful Beginnings this year. His teacher is Miss Tina. He loves it!! What a difference one year has made. Most of you have read all of my post from one year ago. It has been a whole week since he started and he is so excited to go each day.

Well... Well...

2010-08-03T06:28:00.001-07:00

I find myself at this exact point again... and...

I always give in.

I always forget.

I always forgive.

I always get past it.

I always pretend.

I always put on a smile.

BUT...

Not this time.

Part of me wants to...

give up.

walk away.

not turn around.

throw in the towel.

tell you off.

hate you.

move on.

move out.

BUT...

Not yet.

It's Been Awhile...

2010-07-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

We have had a GREAT summer! Really busy... I can't believe it is almost over!

First, Both kids start school in 2 weeks. Haley will be a first grader at FES and Drew will be in preschool at Faithful Beginning at New Life Christian Church.

Haley went to the doctor today. We haven't been for a treatment in 9... yes, 9 weeks! Yesterday was the first day that she complained and it was pretty bad. Meg thought she looked great and all of her blood work came back normal. I made her next appointment for 8 weeks for Remicade... so she isn't in any pain. Meg was happy with the probiotics and fish oil that she has been taking too.

Drew is going to get his Lil Dragon purple belt on August 12th. We turned in our 30 day cancellation notice on Monday though. He loves it, but both kids are wanting to play fall soccer and I'm not sure what the future holds for me... or my schedule.

We got the kids a new dog about 1 1/2 weeks ago. Felix, a beagle, joined our family. He was born on May 10th!

We got a Harley Sportster 1200. I just passed my permit test today, so I can't wait to practice!! Haley can't wait to tease daddy, because I missed less than him on the test!

Photo Shoots are keeping me crazy busy... and I love it! Sorry there are no photos on this post... I need to upload them off my camera however I have another shoot tonight, so I'll wait!

I've applied for another job! Keep your fingers crossed for me!! That is about it for now! I'll post pictures and more later!

Flowers...

2010-06-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day!

So the other night... Justin, both kids, and I all went to eat and then grocery shopping. Justin was looking at one thing, I was looking at something else and the kids were missing. A few seconds later... They appeared with a bouquet of flowers and said, "these are for you Mommy!" I smiled from ear to ear! Of course I had to buy them!

I love my kiddos SO much!!

Memorial Day...

2010-06-04T10:02:00.001-07:00

First... Thank you to anyone who has served or is currently serving in our Military!

Here is our Memorial Day in pictures!

Last... Meg (Haley's Nurse Prac) called yesterday and told us her Celiac Panel came back negative, but she does indeed have Crohn's. That is fine! She is doing good on the probiotics and fish oil.

Summer fun...

2010-05-28T13:36:00.000-07:00

Hot Summer Days!!

Haley at the farm!
Drew and Kagen had a blast playing in a rubbermaid full of water!

These two are going to be TROUBLE one day!

Update...

2010-05-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

ENJOY!

Cute family picture at Haley's graduation... minus Drew being grouchy!

Loving her presents from Mammaw Rhonda and Cherie!

Haley getting her diploma from Mrs Potter (her teacher) and Mrs. Bennett (the principal)
Class of 2022!! I'll be 40!!

Cherie, Mammaw Rhonda, Haley and I

We went to the doctor this past Wednesday and Haley did great... once again. She did receive a remicade treatment, but I finally talked to the infusion nurse and Dr. M about some questions I had. First, we are going to wait 8-10 weeks before her next treatment to see what happens. If she is in pain or hurting, then I'll take her as soon as she needs it... if not, then she probably won't go back for awhile! She also had extra blood work done and today I got a phone call that they were all normal. The doctor did say to make sure she is taking a multi-vitamin. I need to call back Monday to make sure they did the celiac panel and that is what they were talking about... so I'm hoping. They were supposed too and I mentioned it more than once! I also talked to them about probiotics and they were very receptive to that idea. They gave me a few samples to try, so I'm anxious to get that started. I talked to them about the Prevacid also and they said that isn't something I can cut cold turkey so they reduced her from 30 mg to 15 mg for 2 weeks and then told me to see if that helps. My grandma told me she has heard from more than once source that almonds can reduce or stop heart burn/ reflux almost instantly so I may try that. She is also going to start on Fish Oil. I'm so happy that they actually listened to me and understood where I was coming from as a mom.

I need to clear this up too: Colitis and Crohn's are both IBDs. Colitis is just the intestines and colon where as Crohn's is from the mouth all the way through your system. When they did the scope she showed no signs of inflammation in her throat, so that is why they were saying she may not have Crohn's. Some Colitis patients still receive Remicade as a treatment.

My little girl also graduated from Kindergarten last week! I can't believe she is a first grader now. Their program was really cute.

Drew is great... loving being outside. He will be promoted to his blue belt in karate on June 17th!

Med...

2010-05-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

So, after not taking Prevacid (for acid reflux) for a week or so... Haley had to start taking that medicine again this morning. I noticed that her breath was really stinky last night and this morning. That was my first indicator. I'll keep you posted.

I blog...

2010-05-17T17:29:00.001-07:00

Because... I can vent, inform people about what is going on in our lives (without repeating myself 100 times), and to be able to print everything out in the future. I have family and friends that live across this country who like to know how Haley is doing and what we are up to. I guess I've offended a few people who have read my blog. Not my intention at all. I've never mentioned names! I guess if you are feeling guilty then it might be you, but maybe not. If you question something I've written then all you have to do is ask me. I love blogging and will continue to do so: GOOD, BAD, UGLY, and some USELESS INFO! Keep enjoying!

My Choice...

2010-05-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

Some of you may think I'm a bad mom...
Some of you may think this is the best thing I've done...

This is completely MY decision!

I'm taking Haley off of her medicines! I am watching what she eats and sticking to the diet because that isn't hurting her liver.

I haven't heard anything from the doctor's about what is going on with Haley since our last appointment and yes... I'm furious! I'd love to know what their plan of action is to figure out what is wrong with Haley. Our next appointment for Remicade is May 26th. Of course... that is the last day of school... that is field day... that is Haley's last day as a kindergartener. I tried to reschedule, but couldn't. The Remicade nurse was booked on Thursday, doesn't work on Fridays, Monday is Memorial Day, and is then on vacation for a week after that. So our appt. is at 7 am and no doctor is in the office at that time. I guess I won't get any answers then either unless they draw extra blood while they are inserting her IV. I'm not letting them stab her any more than needed! I'm DONE with all these excessive tests that give us the same results... NOTHING! I want more than anything for the doctors to tell me what is wrong with Haley but I won't let them poke, scope, scare, etc her when they can't give us definant results. We've been going through this for 5 years now... "why can't you give us some answers?!?!"

Now... I am making Haley get this round of Remicade because I'm hoping for some info about this round of blood work. IF... I don't get answers from that appt. then that will be our last for now. I'm not having medicine injected into her (anymore) if she doesn't have Crohn's Disease! I'm also keeping her on Miralax because I know that keeps her stools soft enough for her to have bowel movements. It is also an OTC drug. No prescription needed! That is it!

For now... I'm happy with this decision. I have prayed that it is the right one for Haley. I hope I have NO regrets and that I don't cause her more pain, but only time with tell.

As of today... she looks great! Most of the swelling is out of her body. Her belly has been looking really good that past week. She has complained 4 times since her last dr. appt that her belly has hurt however that is better than everyday! I've been writing down the date and what she ate everytime her belly does hurt. I was hoping that might give me some answers!

I'll keep you all posted.

I love my KIDDOS!!

Is it...

2010-05-06T04:11:00.000-07:00

BAD...

that I'd rather sit in silence (or watch the news) while drinking my coffee vs. put on make-up and do my hair before the kids start waking up or arriving...

(Poor Adam and Stacy are the ones who usually can pick up on my choice!)

Update...

2010-04-21T12:00:00.001-07:00

** I'm going to talk about poop and Haley would die (if she was older) if she knew I was posting this for everyone to read. I may also offend some people.**

Well... today was our first Doctors appt since Haley has been out of the hospital. Besides her receiving her normal Remicade treatment... I wasn't sure what to expect or say or ask. I had a few questions, but they seemed to change after I received some info from the test they did while in the hospital. First, I love Meg (she used to be the remicade nurse, but since has become a CNP under Dr. Maisel), however, I really wish Dr. Maisel would have seen us. Meg knows Haley (& I) really well though... so I guess they would both see us... together! Is that asking too much?!?! Anyway... All of Haley's biopsy reports came back benign which is wonderful! She does have collagenous colitis though. Defined: inflammatory conditions of the colon that cause chronic diarrhea. Why yes, she does have diarrhea because she has to be on Miralax everyday because of constipation?! Treatment: basically the same low residue diet that we are on now... which I can now handle! In rare cases, surgery. There are a number of medicinces that are effective now... which gets to my next point. She is off all the medicines prescribed in the hospital however... one new one was added today for colitis. Side effects: causes bloating... which is what sent us to the ER in the first place. Her belly has been bloated since she was an infant... I'm trying to get rid of all the excess gas... not make it bigger! From the colonoscopy, they found that her whole colon is inflamed. They also discovered that there is no evidence of Crohn's... great!? What do you mean... why have we been doing this for 3 years?! Can we come off Remicade... "no, not yet." They also found a possibility of her have Celiac Disease... great?! We were told that 3 different time between the ages of 1 and 2 1/2 at Riley. (They couldn't make up their minds because her blood work didn't match the scope results?!)PLEASE, PLEASE pray that it isn't celiac disease... I can't (can but don't want to) do the gluten free diet. It is awful and I pray that no one ever has to go completely gluten free. If they got enough blood from haley today then a celiac panel will be sent off for labs. No, I don't have to cook gluten free yet because if we have to get more blood work then they want the results to be right. No, she still has to get remicade until we rule Crohn's out for sure. I'm not sure when that will be. I picture lots more blood work for Haley and more scopes. I HATE this so much for her!! Please pray... I have so many questions for God, but my faith will not be shaken! I can do this with HIS help!

BEST case scenerio: Haley only has Colitis!
WORST case scenerio: Haley has Celiac Disease & Colitis!

PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!

*I need support. Haley needs support. We need support. I can't be her rock on my own with other questioning my every move as a mom. I understand if you have questions and I am more than willing to answer them to the best of my ability. DO NOT call me to tell me all the "worst" side effects and to question me as to what is right for Haley. If YOU have doubts then show up for a doctor's appt and question the doctors. Do not make comments about her "appearance" in front of her. Do not judge my decisions in front of her. Keep your mouth shut! Haley is just wanting to know why this is happening to her (& not Drew or her friends or cousins)! She is wanting answers just like I am. I hate to see her cry and her confidence knocked to the ground. She doubts herself when you doubt me. Yes, there are certain things that she can't eat... don't pull out her (past) favorites and eat them in front of her. Don't offer her stuff "accidently" that you know she can't have. If you have questions... ask me first... please! Don't make her feel more upset than she already does. Do Not tell me what is best for my daughter!*

I will keep you posted as I find out more.

One last thing... her headaches came back the last 2 nights... so I'm taking her back to the eye doctor tomorrow. Dr. Mike told me her eyes would change a lot in the first year, so I'm hoping that is what the problem is.

New Blog...

2010-04-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a new blog jsut for photography. Check it out... www.jessicalowderphotography.blogspot.com
It is a work in progress at the moment. Let me know what you think of my new logo also please. I'm going back to school starting this Saturday. I decided having my Bachelor's Degree wasn't enough... haha! I'm so excited to take photography classes! I'm going to make this a more personal blog about my crazy life and put photo shoots up on the other site.

Love them...

2010-04-12T11:01:00.001-07:00

Ashley is such a wonderful mommy!

I love her!

Thanks Mammaw for our CUTE outfits!

He is SO handsome!

Here are a few more photos that I'd like to share...

pictures

2010-04-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures off of my Kodak... I haven't uploaded any from my Canon yet...

It's over...

2010-04-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

Vacation is officially over... BOO!

We had a great time though. After arriving on Anna Maria Island Sunday afternoon... we decided coats and umbrellas were needed. I was not a happy camper. Who drives 19 hours to wear a coat?! NOT ME!! Monday was the same way! Tuesday thru Sunday were perfect though. Mid 80s and sunny... just the way I like it!

The kids are fish! They were in the pool or ocean pretty much from sun up to sun down. Haley has always loved the water, but she did learn to retrieve sticks and rings off the bottom of the pool. She also practiced swimming and can pretty much go the entire length of the pool. Drew used to hate the water, but discovered he loves it now. He loves that he can touch in 3ft and also loves going under. It is cute watching him count to 3 and just dunk his head. He can also get sticks off the steps by going under. We spent lots of time on the beach playing also!

We played putt-putt (Drew won), went to Adventure Island @ Busch Garden, ate ice cream (Kuddos to the place by us for having lactose free banana ice cream for Haley!) and played cards (Haley is a card shark)! We also ate lots of WONDERFUL fresh sea food. My kids LOVE calamari and shrimp!

Since we haven't been home for 24 hours... I haven't uploaded pictures... stay tuned for though!

**I can't believe my baby boy is going to be 4 on Sunday!**

Thank you...

2010-03-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

I owe so many people a HUGE thank you...

Thank you for:

*praying

*coming to visit Haley (& me!) in the hospital

*all the toys, balloons, magazines, movies, food, and frappacinos

*reassuring me that my little girl will be okay

*helping with Drew and the boys (my favorite nephews!) that I baby-sit

*picking up the house before I got home

*calling to check on everyone

*helping me figure out what Haley can/can't eat

*sitting with us

*offering to do anything

*getting my mind off this stupid diet (if only for a short minute)

*keeping an eye on her when I'm not around and calling (or emailing) to keep me posted

I'm sure I left something out that I'm thankful for...

I appreciate everything so much! I'm so happy to know what is wrong with Haley once again... so I don't have to be mad at the doctors for that!

I only wish...

*she would be better instantly

*she wasn't in pain

*she didn't have to be on this diet

*her belly wasn't bloated

*her self-confidence wasn't down

*we never had to deal with this again

I've been pretty emotional the last couple of days... although I've really tried to hold it together. It was hard (& amusing) to admit to a few of you what I did yesterday! Keep praying and I'll keep you posted.

Haley is amazing! When I lose it... she is still holding it together! She is so smart and learning so fast about what is now going on. She wanted to go to school less than 24 hours after getting out of the hospital so I let her go. She made it just under 3 hours! She wanted to go again today so I let her. Mrs. Potter said Haley complained her belly was hurting but she was hungry. Thank you Mrs. Potter!!! for buying snacks to keep at your desk that Haley eat!!! I'm still waiting to hear how she is after lunch. That is all I have for now...

We need a vacation... only 3 more days until we head south bound!

Haley...

2010-03-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

Rewind 3 weeks ago... Haley threw up at school, but told the school nurse she thought she ate too much at lunch...

Over the past 3 weeks I have called the Dr. NUMBEROUS times... they just wanted to add a new medicine or change the ones she was already taking. We spent St. Patty's Day at the Imaging Center having an x-ray and some blood work and everything came out perfect! Haley was not perfect... she was MISERABLE! This past Friday... I had hit a breaking point and kinda got mad at the nurses (because the doctor wasn't in...) and told them something was wrong with Haley and I wanted her to be seen immediately. Finally... we were told to go to St. Vincent ER by her Ped. GI doctor and they team would do a work-up and called Dr. M with the results (no... she didn't meet us at the hospital!). Thank you to our RN Carla... loved her! (found out they just built a house of some land Lowder's used to farm and came by the morning after the tornado to help!) Anyway, the CT showed an ileus. They couldn't tell us why she had it or what it was. Haley was admitted to the hospital about 1 am. I headed home to pack a bag or 2 and grab the things Haley requested. Justin stayed while they moved her to her room and until I could get back... it was about 2:30 am. She was so miserable she ended up having Morphine!

Saturday: I can't remember anything from Saturday... I know we had lots of family come visit, but I still had no answers. People were questioning me for taking Haley to the hospital and doubting the hosptial staff. I was so mad! How dare you do that in front of my kid!? (Sorry...) Haley still wasn't allow to eat! Poor kid was hooked up to all kinds of lines... steriods, fluids, antibiotics, etc... We were also told that we'd probably have to follow a new diet... Low Residue!

Sunday: Dr. M came to the hospital and did a scope and took some more labs on Haley about 8:30 am... once again everything came back normal. Haley was not feeling well and still hadn't been allowed to eat. More family visited... I hit a wall and was an emotional wreck. I have now been in the hospital with Haley since Friday and know nothing! I was mad, tired and fed up! Finally Dr. M said she wanted Haley to do a barium follow through and radiology was willing to do it on Sunday about 11. Well, because she hadn't had a bowel movement... they couldn't do it. 5 doses of miralax and hours went by and still no luck. We ended up having to give her a suppository. Time went by again and she finally was able to go to the bathroom. INSTANT RELIEF! She was like a different kid! However, the nurses informed us it was too late and we couldn't do the barium until in the morning... Haley still couldnt' eat and she was grouchy and just wanted to go home. She was starving! I felt awful that I couldn't do anything to help her. We were both exhausted! LOVE our nurses (Amy and Wendey) for convincing radiology to do the test on Sunday night... good thing they had a TV for Amy, Ali, Justin and me to watch the Purdue game while also playing with Haley! She is such a trooper! The test was finished and the radiologist had mentioned, "something abnormal!" My thought... "Yeah... they found something... I hope it is easy to fix!" After that... Haley was able to eat! New Diet... what can I get her to eat... McDonald's burger plain! She was thrilled! By 10 pm we still didn't have any results so we had to stay another night.

Monday: Haley wasn't hooked up to any IVs all night so we both slept pretty good. We got results... a 3 cm segment between the small and large intestines ... thickening of the intestinal wall / inflammation. That caused the ileus from Friday night. (The brain basically tells the bowels to stop movement because "something" is going on down the line.) I had an answer that completely made sense to me and that I could explain to others.

1:00 pm - we are outta there... Haley and I headed home!

Treatment: Low Residue Diet, no Lactose, 8 medicines... 3 of which she is used to taking... 5 new ones! The intestines should heal. This will most likely happen again however now we know what to look for.

Cause: a virus... Haley may not be sick (cough, fever, etc...) but the smallest virus will attack a Crohn's patients intestional tract. Since items weren't moving... her little belly swelled up with all kinds of gas, air and fluids causing major cramps and discomfort!

Defining Ileus:

Intestinal obstruction is a partial or complete blockage of the bowel that results in the failure of the intestinal contents to pass through.

Symptoms:

Abdominal distention
Abdominal fullness, gaseous
Abdominal pain and cramping
Breath odor
Constipation
Diarrhea
Vomiting

Hopefully this helps explain a little of what we've gone through this weekend!

Hard work...

2010-03-17T07:28:00.001-07:00

*It takes hard work and is always a work in progress, but The Love Dare works! I haven't updated in awhile, but it is going good.

*Here are a few more of Ty's 3 month pictures. He is such a cutie-pie!

*ONLY 10 more days until we are beach bound! I am so excited to get away... I'm really dreading the drive though. Praying for GREAT weather!

*The job search is still in the works. No phone call or interview yet, but I'm still waiting and optimistic!

*I LOVE SPRING! I can't wait for summer!

Day FOUR...

2010-03-05T13:50:00.000-08:00

Love is Thoughtful...

Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks. This lesson really struck me... Men do not read between the lines. I get upset that he has no clue what is wrong! Men state issues without thinking... I get upset that he is being so blunt about issues. I'm really working on this one!

DARE: Call your spouse and have no agenda other than asking how they are doing and if there is anything you could do for them...

Mission completed!

**How precious also are your thoughs to me... How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. (Psalm 139:17-18)**

Ty is 3 months...

2010-03-05T13:17:00.000-08:00

Enjoy a few photos of Ty...

I can't believe he is 3 months old...

Day THREE...

2010-03-04T16:56:00.000-08:00

Love is not Selfish...

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expections for our mate... We are all selfish! If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your spouse... you are still being selfish. **Meaning... I can't buy him something that I really want!**

DARE: Buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

I bought Justin a card and tanning package because he made a comment last week about wanting to go and I gave him a hard time about it. I tan, so why can't he... I'm so nice to him... sometimes! Drew and Justin are not home yet, so we'll see if I get anything... I'll post that tomorrow.

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3)

By the way... he did pick up all the toys out of the living room last night!

Day Two...

2010-03-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

Love is Kind... Patience avoids a problem and kindness creates a blessing.

Dare: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness...

**Being the sweet wife I am... I clean off the work bench and cleaned up Justin's closet!**
He actually noticed and thanked me! I'm waiting to see what he does to help me out today because my list is long... haha!

**Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you**

Left Hanging...

2010-03-02T12:19:00.000-08:00

I'm still working on both my missions (and will not give up!)...

1. I finished my resume, cover letter and received some really nice letter of recommendations. Those have been mailed in... Yesterday was the cut off so hopefully I will hear something in the next few days about an interview. I'm very excited and optimistic.

2. No marriage is perfect and everyone knows that a relationship take work so... Justin and I started The Love Dare. It goes along with the movie FIREPROOF.

Day ONE: Love is Patient

* Words often reflect the condition of our heart. Today... say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.

"We have talked on and off throughout the day and things have been good."

I hope this will help me blog more. I would love to update you everyday on our challenge through this book for the next 40 days or so. You may read the ups and downs... but that is what this is all about.

"Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger" (James 1:19)

**On a totally different note... I wish the UPS man would get here soon because they didn't come yesterday!**

Let the Countdown Begin...

2010-02-26T14:45:00.001-08:00

1... yes... 1 month from TODAY... I (and the kiddos) will be one the BEACH!

YEAH!!!

Shower...

2010-02-23T12:26:00.001-08:00

Here are a few pictures from Steph's bridal shower... enjoy!

Faith...

2010-02-23T12:14:00.000-08:00

I'm hopeful...

*Difficulties happen to teach and test your faith. Believe that there is an advantage behind every misfortune, that there is a silver lining*

I am going to take a leap of faith... and go for it with all I've got...

*Faith isn't the ability to believe long and far into the misty future. It's simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step. - Joni Erickson Tada*

I want it SO bad...

*Success is always to be found on the other side of fear*

I believe I can...

*Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail*

I'm on 2 missions right now... stay tuned for some results!

Right Now...

2010-02-19T07:01:00.000-08:00

Haley and Drew

LOVE

having Ty here everyday!

(and I do too!)

I heart you...

2010-02-14T06:05:00.000-08:00

REALLY...

A beautiful bouquet of flowers
A heart shaped box of candy
A lovey dovey card
I love you
I'm sorry
A nice dinner out
A trip to the movie theather
A romantic night at home
Some sexy lingerie

Mean NOTHING if you don't have the ACTIONS to back them up!

Inspiring Quotes...

2010-02-09T16:54:00.000-08:00

Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point.
-- Harold B. Melchart

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
-- Charles Dickens

The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Action may not always bring happiness;
but there is no happiness without action.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
--Benjamin Franklin

My kids happiness and my happiness depends on ME!

For Parents...

2010-02-09T06:39:00.000-08:00

1. Life is a series of choices and money cannot win everytime.
2. Prioritize your activities and spend time as a family.
3. Set and achieve goals together.
4. Be committed, do what it takes and you will have what you want.
5. Have an open-mind, take a risk and have some fun.
6. Acknowledgment goes a long way.
7. Choose to control your impulses.
8. Actively support one another.
9. Be accountable for your choices.
10. Stand up for everyone in your family.

Our children look to us as a solid and safe base of operation and our home should be a place where they don't have to watch their backs or question our loyalties. They shouldn't have to experience insecurities in their parents marriage. We have to commit that we will not yell, scream or blame in front of our children. We would never want our relationship to affect their self-esteem, self-worth or self-confidence. Our fights will scar them emotionally. Our children do not care who is right or wrong. We wouldn't want our children to do this to our grandkids.

I'm done...

I love my kids VERY much!

Snow and Superbowl...

2010-02-08T11:13:00.000-08:00

No people... it wasn't a blizzard. We got a few inches of snow and in Indiana... we get snow! My kids had a blast playing in it. Of course so did Cody and I. Enjoy the pictures. No one made it successfully through our tunnel but we had a blast trying. We are supposed to get another 4-8 inches tomorrow so I'm sure I'll have more pictures later.

Way to go Colts. Even though we didn't win, it was a good game and we made it to the SUPERBOWL! That says something! We had a party at the shop and had fun. The kids and I had to leave at halftime because it was past bedtime. They were such toopers though and we all ate way too much junk food. I'll proudly wear my BLUE and WHITE ANYTIME and ANYWHERE!

The pictures are not great because I broke my REBEL! BOO!!! I am praying for a new lens but seeing as they cost $400, I doubt it is going to happen anytime soon. I can still take pictures with it, but... Maybe I'll just get a whole new camera all together?! A girl can wish can't she?!?!

Haley lost her first tooth Sunday afternoon. She finally let mom pull it! The tooth fairy came for the first time and she was SO excited to find $5 under her pillow this morning. I think from now on the fairy will only leave $1!

Why?

2010-02-04T19:21:00.001-08:00

Why? is a huge question...

My answer: Because of my 2 angels...

So much to say...

2010-02-02T16:15:00.000-08:00

I have so much to say and no time...

1. Medical bills are killing me...
2. I'm so ready for summer...
3. My 5:30 am workouts start in the morning...
4. I can't wait until my taxes are done...
**I need money**)
5. So tired of people's drama...
6. I wish I could take pictures professionally and make a living at it...
**I need money**
7. I am having nightmares of the dentist pulling my tooth...
9. I would love to surprise my hubby for our 5th anniversary...
10. Spring break is less than 2 months away...
**reason for #3**
11. Musselman Muleskinners won Donkey Basketball...
12. My mother-in-law had one crazy 50th birthday party...
13. My little girl turned 6 and I couldn't be prouder to be her mommy!!
**Enjoy her picture**

My list will continue later! For now... I'm am thankful for what I have!

Just an update...

2010-01-20T10:14:00.000-08:00

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever although it hasn't been too long... Haley got glasses and she is so cute! I wish I would have taped her eye exam. I just smiled the whole time because she was a rockstar. Next we went into another room to pick out her glasses and she headed straight towards some hot pink ones... they are cute, but I tried to convince her to pick out some that would match everything (black, clear, silver?) and it didn't work. Her heart was set, so mom ordered them. Maybe I should back up and refresh you memory: (I can't remember if my previous blog had this info in it.) Haley started having headaches a month or so ago. I had the school nurse check her vision and she told Mrs. Potter and Stacy that she passed with flying colors. I started getting very nervous because the headacheds were not going away. We went to see Dr. Meg and she said we needed to go get a CT scan. It came back normal after an extrememly LONG hour of waiting for the results. Now what do I do? I called our eye doctor and they got Haley in... she is blind as a bat! Justin and I both got glasses when we were young, so we knew it was coming. Anyway, since getting her glasses (she loves!) she hasn't complained once... I am PRAYING that this was the cause. Haley also has 2 loose teeth. I'm exciting for the first time the tooth fairy gets to visit! AND... Haley hated karate! I'm bummed that she isn't in dance anymore, but now she wants to take gymnastics again. She has wanted to for a long time, but... I loved her in dance so much!

Drew is great! Still loves karate. I think he is ready for spring and summer. All that boy wants to do is go outside and farm! Daddy took his new HUGE dumptruck to the farm the other day and let him play in a corn pile. He was on cloud 9.

Here are a couple of headshots I did for my cousin, Jill and Travis...
I also added a couple pictures of the kiddos!

Let it SNOW!

2010-01-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

My kiddos love playing in the snow!

I can't believe he's 1 month!!

2010-01-09T12:27:00.001-08:00

I really love my Nephew....

2010-01-06T11:18:00.001-08:00

It's 2010!

2010-01-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

So much time went into getting ready for the holidays and the time flew by. We are so blessed to have a huge family that is so close. Justin, the kids and I had 9 places to go over a week span and only missed one! Sorry to the Musselman side... I know that is the only time everyone gets to see the kids, but we had to go to Justin's parents at the same time. I missed catching up with you all. WE (my kids especially) are so spoiled. We have so many toys and not enough space (or too many toys!) Haley went back to school today and I kind of miss having her home. She is such a big helper. I also started keeping a new little boy, Holden. He is so cute, funny and photogenic. I had an inpromtu photoshoot with him and Eli yesterday just to surprise their mommy's! Drew has had a snotty nose for 2 weeks now... not really clearing up but praying it doesn't get any worse. We started an antibiotic to just make sure we keep the "bug" out of our house! Both kids are taking karate now. Haley went to her first class and loved it. I just have to mention also that Ty is doing GREAT! I can't believe he is almost a month old... I also can't wait to start watching him when Ashley goes back to work at the end of Feb. I wish you all the best in 2010! Here are just a few pictures from the last couple of weeks...

Introducing.... Ty Michael

2009-12-15T09:18:00.001-08:00

I haven't posted in a week or so, but I have a good reason besides being a busy mom... I have a new nephew: Ty Michael Schultz. He is adoreable, but I'll fill you in on the details. I called Ashley (my sis) to see if she wanted to go for a walk on Friday night. It was nasty outside so we went to Home Depot. We were crazy ladies walking around that store... literally making laps. Then we decided to eat mexican food... the salsa was spicy!! I dropped Ashley off at home about 8 pm and took my mom to Noblesville. I shut my car off at the dealership to let mom out and our phone rang... it was Ashley saying that her water broke. (Our walking, mexican food and ? worked) I headed home to get the cameras and then headed back to the hospital. After 12 hours of labor, she had to have a c-section and Ty entered the world at 8:55am on 12.12.09! I couldn't be prouder of Ashley and more happy to have Ty make his debut! I've got to spend a few minutes with him everyday since. I love some of the photos I've gotten to take of him so far.

On Saturday I also took pictures of lots of little kids with Santa at IMI. They all had a great time.

On Sunday Justin and I went to the Colts game with Anne, Norm and Kathy! What a good game!

Today is Haley's last dance class... boo! Her recital is this Saturday and at the beginning of the year, she'll start karate. Drew also finished his last class as a white belt. He will be promoted to his yellow belt on Thursday. My kids are the light of my life and they look so much bigger now compared to Ty. I'm enjoying every minute with them and praise God that I'm able to stay at home. When Ashley goes back to work... I'll be blessed to keep both my nephews! Enjoy the photos!

Our 1 of 8 Christmases starts this weekend also... wish me luck!

Holy Smokes...

2009-12-03T16:50:00.001-08:00

We have been so busy this week and the holidays are still 22 days away! Monday, I took Drew to karate and my ballet princess decided she wanted to quit dancing and take karate. We will see what happens after her recital in a few weeks. Tuesday, I had an awesome sample sale/ gold party at my house. It went great and lots of people got to see our house... we've only been here 5 years! Wednesday, I (along with Kathy) took the kids to see Disney on Ice at Conseco. I love watching their little faces with excitement. They thought it was amazing! I thought the costumes were beautiful and they music was great! Well... today is Thursday and we just got home from karate again. Haley stayed home with daddy while I took Drew. Tomorrow night is our annual BSC cristmas party. It is also at our house. We also have a family birthday party on Sunday. Who knows what is in store for Saturday?! Anyway, it is almost bed time so I better stop typing. Till next time...
Here are just a few pictures I took of the kids. I need a flash and some backdrops!

What a weekend...

2009-11-09T17:22:00.000-08:00

I just had the busiest weekend. Friday night about 6 Emma, Kagen, Haley, Drew and I headed over to Billy and Stacy's new house in Bay Creek. They almost tripled in size. The varsity cheerleaders were their since State was on Saturday. (They won by the way!) Haley was so excited to have her hair braided just like all of them. Needless to say, she sported a HUGE bow and MV Cheerleading sweatshirt on Saturday. We were at their house pretty late. Saturday morning... Ashley, the kids and I met Tarah and Tori for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. It was great to catch up with them. It is hard to believe that we've been friends since pre-school! Mom took my kids the rest of the weekend which I greatly appreciate. I headed to Falls Park to take pictures of the Bowling Family. Then met up with Eric, Cody, Heidi, Ashley and Adam to head to Rantoul, IL. We had a great time. Dad and Dave won Saturday night! We were all stoked. What a great run!! No luck on Friday night or Sunday afternoon though. We ended up getting home last night. I was happy to see the kids and ready for another week. I joined a new MOPS group and met with them this morning. It was great. 5 moms, 6 boys = great talks, minimal fighting! I also found out that the host mom has Crohn's disease! She didn't get diagnosed until she was 21 but it was nice that someone could relate to what Haley was going through. She has had "the" surgery though which I pray Haley never has to go through unless she "needs" it. I better go and get stuff ready for tomorrow. I have another photo shoot on Saturday! Stay tuned to see those pictures. Enjoy the ones from my weekend!

Rough...

2009-11-06T11:34:00.000-08:00

Well, this past week has been rough. I won't go into detail, but I'm going to survive. I have so many wonderful people in my life that I am thankful for. I owe so much to my mom this week. She has always been there for me, but this week especially because others haven't been. Last night she came straight to my house after work and too the kids to dinner, gave them baths, worked on homework, read them 3 stories and tucked them in bed. Tomorrow is another crazy day for me: brunch with my sister and girlfriends, photoshoot at 11 and then heading to Gordyville, IL at 1 with my siblings to watch my dad rope in the Central Finals. Yep... I like to see how much I can shove in one day. I won't be home until Sunday night, so my mom is once again keeping the kids all weekend! I appreciate her so much more now that I'm a mom and I know what she went threw. I only have 2... she had 4! I'd love to have another little girl, but I don't think that is going to happen! Photography & Jewelry have become great "hobbies" that I come to really enjoy. I'd love to make a living at both, but for right now... it is great extra spending money/ vacation fund! I can't wait to work with the Bowling's on Saturday. Stay tuned for a few photos in another post. I also got asked to shoot a wedding in July 2010... I need lots of practice. Give me a call if you'd like pictures taken. Silpada is going good. I am so excited about a few of my upcoming shows especially my Sample Sale Dec. 1st. It should be lots of fun. Sell Gold, Buy Silver, Swap Purses! I can't wait! I also can't believe I'm going to be an aunt in about 5 weeks! I'm so excited to meet Ty. Stupid hospital rules... I understand about flu season though! I also keep thinking about Haley's surgery coming up. I HATE to do this to her again. She cries (terrified) even thinking about the gas mask. Why does my little girl have to go threw so much?! Why can't they find a cure for Crohn's Disease so she doesn't have to get and IV every 6 weeks?! I know many children go threw so much worse than what Haley does, but I still HATE it as a mom. I don't even want to make her get the 2nd round of the H1N1 shot because of everything she will have to go threw this month. Well, boys will be waking up soon from nap so I better go. Congrats to Billy and Stacy for "finally" closing on their new house today!

Slow down...

2009-10-30T12:40:00.000-07:00

Life has been crazy this week. I almost think I've got a good schedule down, then Fall Break happens or something else comes up. I should know not to ask certain people for help or plan anything during harvest. Haley was a rockstart at her Remicade appt. yesterday. Silpada party went well. I'm not closing it until Monday. Today the kids and I met up with Ashley at JC Penney's, went to lunch with dad, stopped by mom's office and then took the kids to Kiln Creations in Noblesville to paint pottery. It was so fun but kind of pricey. That is alright though. I'm just going to post a few pictures from Brit and Leif's photo shoot. I've got too many to go though. Enjoy! BTW... I'm super excited to take the kids trick-or-treating tomorrow. Rain, Rain please go away!!

Shots...

2009-10-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

About 1 1/2 weeks ago, the kids and I received our H1N1 shots. I'm praying that they work. Today, 8 kids were out of Haley's class sick however yesterday six of those kids came to school. Yikes!! I guess they didn't want to miss the field trip. I'm hoping Haley doesn't get sick! Drew has had a lingering cough for about 5 days now. I'm hoping it goes away soon. We've been pretty lucky (knock on wood) too keep the sickness out of our house.

Grandma Musselman (she is 93?)broke her hip the first part of the summer... with surgery and lots of therapy she was ready to put the walker away and just use her cane. Yesterday I received a phone call from my dad that she had fallen again and broken her other hip. Surgery is going on as I type. Please keep her in your prayers.

Haley has dance tonight. I have a photo shoot tomorrow night at Shadyside Park. Haley has Remicade on Thursday and I also have a Silpada Party in Tipton. Halloween is Saturday... man I'm in for a busy for days. I can't wait to post more pictures.

Back in Business

2009-10-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

So... I haven't blogged in a LONG time (probably over a year or so)! I am back in business though too keep everyone updated on our lives. The kids are growing like crazy: Haley is 5 and in full-day kindergarden. She loves it and also loves taking dance for the 3rd year. Drew is 3 and is taking karate. He loves being on the farm with his daddy! I'm still staying at home with the kids while also keeping my nephew Kagen. Two days a week I keep a friends little boy Eli. It keeps me busy. My sister is due in December with a boy, Ty Michael, and I can't wait to meet him. I will also get to keep Ty when Ashley returns to work. Justin still works for IMI and farms with his dad. Harvest is very busy and sometimes I feel like a widow... haha! It's okay though. I'm selling Silpada Jewelry and loving it. I not only get free jewelry, but make decent money and get girls nights out. I also started taking pictures which is so fun for me. I love capturing memories! I'll post a few below. Heidi has already hired me out, so I'm kind of nervous. I'll post the engagement session in a week or so. That is my life in a nutshell. I hope to post more often. Have a great week!